Blake just celebrated his first birthday and I can't believe a year has gone by so quickly. My parents used to always tell me that the older I got, the faster time went by. I didn't believe them as you never truly believe anything your parents say no matter how wise and or relevant it may seem. But it's true. I've been married for over 2 years, work full time and now have a 1 year old son and I have to sit and wonder...where did the time go?
It sounds so cliche, but it literally seems like just yesterday my voice was changing and I was getting my first hair on my chin. Now here I stand with a wife, a son and bills up to my eyes. I'm gaining weight and losing hair and can't help but think how quickly my mid-to-late twenties are going to pass by.
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade what I have for the world. I love my Tonya and Blake and am so happy to have started my family. But if I could do it over again, there are some things I would change.
College never seemed like the right thing for me, and sometimes I still don't think it is. However, the lack of a degree doesn't seem to bother me as much as the lack of completion. Granted I probably won't make as much money as someone who has a bachelors degree and I'm guaranteed to not be qualified for 50% or more of the jobs out there (this idea still somewhat haunts me), but I still think what bothers me most is that I didn't have the motivation or determination to get out there and finish school. My generation seems to be on the line between seeing a need for college and seeing a need for freedom. I am one of those people still stuck with 2 major life choices crushing in on either side of me. Regardless, if I could go back and do it again...a 4 year degree would have been my choice.
If I could go back to sophomore year of high school and sit back down in the weight room where I began to workout at 15 years old. I would have pushed myself to stick with it; to not give up and not quit; to make a choice then, that would benefit me years down the road for the sake of feeling better and for the longevity of life with my family.
There are so many things that I look back on and think, "Why couldn't I have enjoyed that more?" or "Why did I have to make that decision?". But when it's all said and done, there's nothing that can be done to change the past. All I can do is look forward. Time will fly by no matter what, poor choices will be made constantly, but through it all I'm still here living my life now with the people I love.
God has blessed me with a family who loves me. Some I have known all my life, some I have inherited through marriage and 1 in particular I helped to create. Time goes by so quickly and there seems to be so many things I wish I could do over, but if all I do is spend time wishing I could have back the time that has flown by, I will miss out on the time I have ahead.
My life may not be perfect, and my early thirties will be here before I know it but I'm so happy to know that I will be sharing this time with the ones I love and taking advantage of every moment possible so ten years from now when I am thirty four I can look back and say.."Not bad Chris...not bad at all."
4 comments:
Good stuff, Mr. Baker. It's crazy to look back and see the little things God has done to get you from where you were to where you are. God has also shown me, particularly recently, to seize every moment and to fully enjoy the time that I'm currently in--it will fly by before we know it. Being a married couple without kids (yet), Erika and I are making the most to fully enjoy each other now. When we do have kids down the road, I know without a doubt that I'm going to love every minute of that too and that Erika and I plan on fighting hard to keep our relationship above the relationship with our kids so that we can be a strong family. But for now we also know it is time to seize life by the cojones and make the most of our time as a family of two. Much luck to you guys as you seek to enjoy the fullness of life in every day today.
Thanks for sharing this!
I enjoyed your blog Chris. What struck me was your comment on your generation trying to define that fine line btwn freedom and completion. I think you are on to something there. I know I had an interesting conversation recently in light of the passing of an icon, Michael Jackson...and boy did that lead to roads that mattered...having a do-over, seeing what your parents said as you get a little older did in fact make sense and life does come full circle...to everyone even our kids! But as scripture says, forgetting the past and pressing onward towards the prize and the high calling of God. Lift that bar and pull those weights my man and your 1 yr old will think that is so cool and do it too!
Lauren
Dear Chris, it's great that you have shared with us your point of view. I also want to say, Happy Birthday to the Blake. What a great kid.
I was honored to attend a training at the Purpose Driven Life Church of Pastor Warren in Southern CA while I was there. They did quite a program on the emerging church, how the youth look to a new day of inspiration and a new way of worshiping together. I, too, want to help.
In your sharing wanting something deeper and better, I understand... in a way it is the idealism of youth that says, the previous generation was a little slow on the take and we can do better. You bet, you can do better! First of all, you have a Godly marriage, a jewel to behold. For instance, in Warren's huge megachurch, he will not allow people to serve and volunteer who are married to an unbeliever. Why? Because they have a big enough job at home to keep life sane for their spouse and not be unbalanced, serving church too much and hurting their relationship (it happens all too often, and I think he is wise.) So you Chris are not handicapped from service. You two have an understanding of the need for salvation and helping the youth reach Christ. It is wonderful. I hope you see it for what it is, a total blessing. No spinning of your wheels, or getting questioned about your motives when you want to go help or worship at church.
You're a good dad, too.
Keep up the great things you are doing. The foundation is Christ so any work will be sound and not burned away!
I really liked this entry, except for the part where you got a *little* to graphic about "helping create" Blakey. I don't think we really needed to hear that Christopher Eugene. -nr
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