Where I'm At...

After probably over a year of really pursuing law enforcement and even longer than that wanting to be a part of law enforcement, I've come to a place where I'm not really sure if that's where God wants me.

I've wanted to be a police officer partly for the experience (it always seemed fascinating), partly for the pay (not having a college degree it seems like a decent way to make over $40k a year), partly for the freedom (working three 12's and having between 3 to 4 days off a week seems awesome), and also to accomplish my goals (Tonya staying home, buying a house, etc)

But the more I listen to God and the more I really think about my motives. I feel like they might be really selfish. I'm not saying that I will never pursue law enforcement or that I am never going to be called to that area. But I feel like God doesn't want me there right now.

I realized that if I get into a career that pays me $50k a year, allows me to buy a home and keep Tonya from working, that I will at that point no longer be listening to what God wants for my life. I will be in the job that I will have deemed as my final place. The job I will stay and retire from. If in the middle of all that God called me to plant a church or give up the job and pursue ministry, I can honestly say it would be a slim chance that I would want to give all that up to follow his will.

I'm starting to feel that maybe the reason I'm in a job that I'm not sure where I'm headed or the reason that I have spent the majority of my adult life wondering "where do I fit in" is because God has not placed me where I need to be yet. He has me in a position that is extremely easy to give up so that I will not only be constantly listening for where he wants to put me, but be ready when the time comes to make the move to where I need to be.

I don't know where I am going to be next month and maybe God does want me in Boulder County, but for now, I feel like he is telling me to wait on him, teaching me to be faithful even when income is down and showing me that I can be more satisfied serving him than serving my worldly desires and goals.

A true man is not someone who can provide for his family 100% all the time without testing, or buy them a house, or own the newest vehicle. A true man is someone who can patiently wait on the Lord and be ready to act at a moments notice when he is called.