A Call To Arms

we
we are
we are in the golden age of deceit
we are the future... we are the past and we are the present
we are the here and now
we are the children born into a generation driven by lust, greed and hatered
we are the sons and daughters of "i want it now"ism and instant gratification
we are guiltless, shamelss, tired and blameless
however...
we are not alone
we are in this together
we are the hands that can tear down this black city
we are the foundation on which the new kingdom will be built
we are the children of rescue, salvage and truth
we are the dawn of a new day
we can stand and fight; we are stronger
we are patiently waiting, loving not hating
we are the revolution
we are...I am...
you

Where I'm At...

After probably over a year of really pursuing law enforcement and even longer than that wanting to be a part of law enforcement, I've come to a place where I'm not really sure if that's where God wants me.

I've wanted to be a police officer partly for the experience (it always seemed fascinating), partly for the pay (not having a college degree it seems like a decent way to make over $40k a year), partly for the freedom (working three 12's and having between 3 to 4 days off a week seems awesome), and also to accomplish my goals (Tonya staying home, buying a house, etc)

But the more I listen to God and the more I really think about my motives. I feel like they might be really selfish. I'm not saying that I will never pursue law enforcement or that I am never going to be called to that area. But I feel like God doesn't want me there right now.

I realized that if I get into a career that pays me $50k a year, allows me to buy a home and keep Tonya from working, that I will at that point no longer be listening to what God wants for my life. I will be in the job that I will have deemed as my final place. The job I will stay and retire from. If in the middle of all that God called me to plant a church or give up the job and pursue ministry, I can honestly say it would be a slim chance that I would want to give all that up to follow his will.

I'm starting to feel that maybe the reason I'm in a job that I'm not sure where I'm headed or the reason that I have spent the majority of my adult life wondering "where do I fit in" is because God has not placed me where I need to be yet. He has me in a position that is extremely easy to give up so that I will not only be constantly listening for where he wants to put me, but be ready when the time comes to make the move to where I need to be.

I don't know where I am going to be next month and maybe God does want me in Boulder County, but for now, I feel like he is telling me to wait on him, teaching me to be faithful even when income is down and showing me that I can be more satisfied serving him than serving my worldly desires and goals.

A true man is not someone who can provide for his family 100% all the time without testing, or buy them a house, or own the newest vehicle. A true man is someone who can patiently wait on the Lord and be ready to act at a moments notice when he is called.

As time goes by...

Blake just celebrated his first birthday and I can't believe a year has gone by so quickly. My parents used to always tell me that the older I got, the faster time went by. I didn't believe them as you never truly believe anything your parents say no matter how wise and or relevant it may seem. But it's true. I've been married for over 2 years, work full time and now have a 1 year old son and I have to sit and wonder...where did the time go?

It sounds so cliche, but it literally seems like just yesterday my voice was changing and I was getting my first hair on my chin. Now here I stand with a wife, a son and bills up to my eyes. I'm gaining weight and losing hair and can't help but think how quickly my mid-to-late twenties are going to pass by.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade what I have for the world. I love my Tonya and Blake and am so happy to have started my family. But if I could do it over again, there are some things I would change.

College never seemed like the right thing for me, and sometimes I still don't think it is. However, the lack of a degree doesn't seem to bother me as much as the lack of completion. Granted I probably won't make as much money as someone who has a bachelors degree and I'm guaranteed to not be qualified for 50% or more of the jobs out there (this idea still somewhat haunts me), but I still think what bothers me most is that I didn't have the motivation or determination to get out there and finish school. My generation seems to be on the line between seeing a need for college and seeing a need for freedom. I am one of those people still stuck with 2 major life choices crushing in on either side of me. Regardless, if I could go back and do it again...a 4 year degree would have been my choice.

If I could go back to sophomore year of high school and sit back down in the weight room where I began to workout at 15 years old. I would have pushed myself to stick with it; to not give up and not quit; to make a choice then, that would benefit me years down the road for the sake of feeling better and for the longevity of life with my family.

There are so many things that I look back on and think, "Why couldn't I have enjoyed that more?" or "Why did I have to make that decision?". But when it's all said and done, there's nothing that can be done to change the past. All I can do is look forward. Time will fly by no matter what, poor choices will be made constantly, but through it all I'm still here living my life now with the people I love.

God has blessed me with a family who loves me. Some I have known all my life, some I have inherited through marriage and 1 in particular I helped to create. Time goes by so quickly and there seems to be so many things I wish I could do over, but if all I do is spend time wishing I could have back the time that has flown by, I will miss out on the time I have ahead.

My life may not be perfect, and my early thirties will be here before I know it but I'm so happy to know that I will be sharing this time with the ones I love and taking advantage of every moment possible so ten years from now when I am thirty four I can look back and say.."Not bad Chris...not bad at all."

Classical Music

As I sit and listen to Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's "Rondo Alla Turca", I feel inspired and energized. I spent 4 years of my life playing the viola but never cared much for classical music. It always seemed so boring and the songs were WAY too long. However, now, I really do love it.

It's truly amazing to be able to hear music that was composed a few hundred years ago. It's like being in a history class or hopping in a time machine and it's so interesting when you think that you are hearing music that's now considered classical but at one point in time was cutting edge and new to the world. The notes fall on our ears and evoke the same feelings and emotions the way it did for someone fortunate enough to hear live music in the mid 1700's. Classical music tells a story. Whether it was intended to or not, I always feel that I'm listening to an epic tale being told from 1st hand experience. Each note and phrase, every crescendo is soaked with the passion and intensity of the composer; someone who poured his life into his music and was making music for the beauty of music, not for the big bucks and celebrity status.

Music is timeless. Mozart created his music with intention and passion. The classical time period didn't pop out musicians and "pop stars" a dozen a week. You couldn't take a handsome man or a pretty girl and throw them behind a piano and tell them to compose a big hit. Musicians were inspired and gifted beyond understanding.

All this being said, next time you choose (or have no choice) to listen to classical music, don't let it slowly blend into the background noise of the day, but let every note sink into your heart. Allow your self to close your eyes and drift back to a time when music wasn't just something to fill in the silence. Take a step back in time and enjoy the music that has inspired generations for centuries.

Community, Passion and Intimacy; The Desire of A Generation

I'm currently reading "The Emerging Church" by Dan Kimball and I am loving it. The book is a guide to creating a service and a mind set geared towards the post-christian nation we now live in. It helps you to re-think the way you have thought about ministry and it helps you to re-learn what you have learned about the church; not in an un-biblical way, but in a way that challenges you and sparks excitement and creativity to serve God and others.

I think what I love most about this book is that it re-enforces these feelings that I have had about the church and ministry for some time now.

I have had this desire to connect with the Jewish roots of Christianity and discover what has led us to where we are. I have wanted to create a service that honors God and the sacred holiness of his presence rather than honoring the ideas of the contemporary mind. In no way am I upset with where the church has gone or what it is doing; I am just a man in need of something more, something deeper, something raw and real and mysterious. This book focuses on all of these ideas and affirms that God did not just make me different. He didn't just create this desire in me to feel like I am out of place. he has put this desire on the hearts of many people in my age group and beyond.

People desire to have the mystery and tradition found in the Bible. They want to know that God is the holiest of holys. They want to feel that they are a part of something that has been taking place for thousands of years. This is why it is important to bring a sense of intimacy and respect back into our services. I feel that God is leading a generation of leaders who will begin the first phase in a return to intimate services filled with community, passion and intimacy.

A Renewed Trust

Election time has finally come and gone. I myself am beyond ready for it to be over with. Political campaigning and mudslinging everywhere you look; emails that declare Obama's link to terror and Satan himself; political satire focusing on McCains old age or his running mates ability to fire a gun. It's all been so overdone and run into the ground and personally, I feel I can finally breathe again.

Regardless of McCain's or Obama's shortcomings or political views, we as a nation have lost sight of our true leader...God. I understand that we live in a post-christian nation and Christianity is no longer the main faith of choice. However, for those of us who do turn toward the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob; For those of us who believe whole heartedly that Jesus Christ came and died on a cross for our sins; For those of us who put our trust and our hope in a God who created everything in 6 days; we of all people should believe that God is in control. No matter who sits at the head of the nation, God sits at the head of everything. He alone can make or break this entire nation with just a single breath.

If our leader turns out to deceive the world and begins the start of Revelation, then so be it. Who are we to question Gods perfect plan. If he turns out to be the best leader this country has seen in decades, then so be it, he is again part of Gods perfect plan. Whatever the case may be, God is not caught off guard nor is there any way to prevent or dismiss the fact that the will of God will be carried out no matter who sits in office.

I don't know what the next 4 years are going to look like. I can't say they will be good or bad. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. Everything could stop now as I write this and there would be nothing we could do because we aren't in control. As Christians who either support or oppose Barack Obama, it is our duty to pray for our leadership that they will make sound decisions and guide us correctly. For those who oppose him for his past or what he may stand for, remember the strength and the heart of God can penetrate anyone. Remember Paul was the furthest thing from a disciple of Christ until he truly encountered God. If you support our future leader then pray that he will lead this country back into a humble nation who seeks God, if you oppose him, pray that God will work in his life and the life of all who follow God to trust in the Lord and know that his plans are bigger than we can fathom.

"In you Lord my God, I put my trust. I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me."

Psalm 25:1-2

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding."

Proverbs 3:5

Land of the Free, Home of the Brave

As we rapidly approach November and election day, I sit and think about the position of President of The United States. The title has such a sense of pride and honor. The man who holds that position is the leader of a free nation that sacrificed so much for the rights to be free.

The men who founded this country did so out of respect for a new way of life. They valued freedom and liberty more than money and security. They respected each other and worked together to create a new nation that was not only formed for total liberation and the rights of the people, but also formed under an attitude of submission to God.

I see commercials on a daily basis that are your standard "mud slinging" ads directed toward anyone who differs in opinion for the attacker. I can't help but wonder...what would the leaders of the past think of all of this.

I'm no history major and I can't say exactly how campaigning went in the late 1700's. But I can say the men that ran were men of respect, valor and integrity. What happened to the days when you could look to your president as a fearless leader, an honest individual whose only interest was the growth and prosperity of the nation...not their own pocket or agenda.

I know I wasn't around for the Battle at Valley Forge. I didn't hear the eloquent words of The Emancipation Proclamation. I didn't witness the creation and signing of the Declaration of Independence. I can't claim that the politicians of the past were perfect men, but I can admit that I miss the respect I used to have for our leaders. I want that boyish adoration I used to have when sitting in history class listening to the stories of men who united together to create one nation, under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all.