As I sit quietly at work waiting for the next phone call, I begin to think. I have a lot of time to think. Especially at work between 7am and 9am when it's a little slow and there's not a lot of people in yet. As of lately I have been pondering my relationship with God.
Since Blake was born, I have felt the furthest away from God in a long time. I know that seems strange but it's true. I haven't been in the word, I've barely been keeping a prayer life and I just feel like God and I are old buddies who used to hang out. It seems that after having a son and being witness to Gods care and detail in creating my son that I should draw even closer to him but for seem reason I have just been "too busy".
When I think of it in terms of myself being a dad, it really hits closer to home. Since Blake has been born, all I want is for him to see me and be happy. I want to know him better and I want him to be close to me, I want him to know me and desire to be with me. Its' the same with our heavenly father. That closeness that I desire with Blake is the same thing God wants from us. And here I am, breaking Gods heart. It's not that I don't want to spend time with God, it's just that I've been lazy.
I'm not waiting until I "feel like" getting back into the word. I'm not waiting until I "feel like" I need him in my life. I need him now. I need him more than ever to guide me as a parent and a husband. My family cannot afford to have me sit on the spiritual sidelines and let my relationship with God turn into a long distance relationship. I'm making the change today to get back to where I need to be and to set an example for my son.
Since Blake was born, I have felt the furthest away from God in a long time. I know that seems strange but it's true. I haven't been in the word, I've barely been keeping a prayer life and I just feel like God and I are old buddies who used to hang out. It seems that after having a son and being witness to Gods care and detail in creating my son that I should draw even closer to him but for seem reason I have just been "too busy".
When I think of it in terms of myself being a dad, it really hits closer to home. Since Blake has been born, all I want is for him to see me and be happy. I want to know him better and I want him to be close to me, I want him to know me and desire to be with me. Its' the same with our heavenly father. That closeness that I desire with Blake is the same thing God wants from us. And here I am, breaking Gods heart. It's not that I don't want to spend time with God, it's just that I've been lazy.
I'm not waiting until I "feel like" getting back into the word. I'm not waiting until I "feel like" I need him in my life. I need him now. I need him more than ever to guide me as a parent and a husband. My family cannot afford to have me sit on the spiritual sidelines and let my relationship with God turn into a long distance relationship. I'm making the change today to get back to where I need to be and to set an example for my son.
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