As the high school seniors graduated this past month, I started thinking about my own future "after high school". I have done some classess at the community college and I am actually only a few classes shy of an A.A. degree. But I still wonder, what am I going to do?
I really want to be a pastor and work in the church. I feel this is what God has called me to do. But I feel like I am lacking the training and ability. I keep in the back of my mind that "God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called"; but that is so hard to believe when all I can think about is the B.A. in theology I don't have, or even the A.A. I failed to finish and receive. I know I'm still young and have a lot of opportunity to finish school, but between my wife, the college group, work, social life and a baby on the way...I'm finding that finishing school is on the top of my to-do list, but the bottom of my priority list.
I would love to just quit working for a few years and go full time to school for a degree that will help me pursue ministry as a career, but that's not going to happen. My main fear is this; without a degree, what edge do I have over the competition? It sounds silly because we aren't talking about the cut throat corporate world...we're talking about ministry, pastoring a group of people who desire to grow in their relationship with God. My qualifications and edge should lie in my calling. It should rest in the hands of the powerful God who will put me in a church that can take care of my needs and allow me to creatively bring his word to others. Still, there is part of me that feels my calling will not be enough when asked "what are your qualifications?"
I know that I need to have faith but I feel that my fear is justified. I have been brought up in a world that teaches you that you must prove your worth, a world that says you are not good enough until you follow our rules. However, the one thing I keep coming back to is that God is amazing in ability and strength. In a world where you must prove your worth through education, college degrees, and posessions, God has come to say "You don't need to prove anything to me, your faith is enough" I have to fall back on the faith that if I believe God wants me to teach, then I need to believe he can make it happen, no matter what schooling I do or do not have.
The disciples were fisherman and tax collectors, Paul was a christian persecutor. God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called...something I need to learn to live by every day of my life.
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